Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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