weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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