Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
