Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
