I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
