I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
