In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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