If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
