She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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