i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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