You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
another moral hangover. fuck.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
