Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
