I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
