I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
