you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
They have beer where we have blood.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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