it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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