i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Who died my cat blue again?
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