"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
