Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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