I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
