I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
