you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do vagina's smell?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize