i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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