I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
