I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize