That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize