apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
