Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
