she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize