The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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