she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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