he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
