And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
