is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
