You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
