I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
