But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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