Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
