Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
40s are totally the cure
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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