I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
