is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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