I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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