The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You're like the curious george of whores
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
