Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
