another moral hangover. fuck.
handjob tips. give me some.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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