Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
