Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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