he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
