2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You may now shotgun with the bride
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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