No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
