just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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