I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize