how can u be prego again
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
