I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
