why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
