the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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