at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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