i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
