Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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