Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
