my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
