Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
