you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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