it's like iHOP with fire
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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