I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Define "chronic" masturbator.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
