Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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